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Philly Firebirds Burn The Nighthawks

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A few months ago I happened to be looking up women sports in North America. From there I stumbled upon the IWFL (Independent Women’s Football League) and found out they had a team in the Philly area somewhat near me. This weekend I managed to get a day off and decided to take in their game against the Baltimore Nighthawks.

It ended up being a good choice, despite my early fears. When I showed up, the Nighthawks look liked a well oiled machine running plays in one endzone in full gear. The Firebirds were relaxed running through drills and plays without shoulder pads and helmets until the absolute last second. When it was time to get ready, their coach even complained that it shouldn’t take them  as long as it did to get ready.

The Nighthawks also looked to have a size and numbers advantage. An early quick head count showed that the Nighthawks had about double the players on their bench. I was worried about what I had gotten myself into. Especially since it’s rare I get a Saturday off with the business I’m in.

My worries quickly evaporated as the Firebirds defense was absolutely smothering. Since there’s no roster on the website, and I didn’t have anything to take notes, I missed some names. But 25 and most of the Firebirds linebackers were relentless on defense. Early on a hold on 25 was missed by the refs. 25 was clearly fired up and the very next play came flying into the Nighthawks backfield for a big sack. She also had a big interception late in the 2nd quarter when the Nighthawks were driving, running the ball back for a TD.

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Let’s Play Sims 3: Moose and Squirrel

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It took a bit of fixing, but the Sims 3 LP is back. Had to change everything over to a new computer and get it working again. So on with the action.

So while Shendu decided to talk to the wall, Rhaz went to wash his hands. He somehow broke the sink while doing this.

Then Rhaz uses the bathroom, and somehow breaks that too? Good work. Thankfully Shendu isn’t noticing the house is flooding because he’s busy in a discussion with the wall.

Everyone comes home, so Shendu decides to fuck with Monocle. Because Shendu. Rhaz has taken the time to start reading a book.

Rhaz puts on the charm before leaving for the night.

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Who Buys This Junk? Pennco Tech

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This is one of those times I wished I had a dvr running 24/7. The amazing mess that was this commercial on my TV is barely describable. First off, the commercial was bigger then my screen. This cut off the first few letters and last few letters of the website. Secondly the volume was so loud, that despite being only 30 seconds long it immediately caught my attention. Thirdly, the acting. Oh god the acting. It’s just, wow. There’s people from America’s Funniest Home Videos with better delivery.

Look, before I get to that, let me talk about the scam. The idea behind this and other trade schools is to get people into the school by any means necessary and milk them for money. Most people who actually go to one of these schools find themselves deep in student loan debt, and since the school is considered a joke they can’t get a job to pay it off. But the school doesn’t care since they got their money. Just as an example, one complaint I found about this school is that they convince you to put down a deposit to hold a seat. But they tend not to tell you you have 3 days to refund your deposit. Which is barely enough time to look into student loan information.

But your most likely here to watch what I consider the Ed Woods of TV Commercials. This is the most magical 30 seconds you can spend your day. Enough hype, video after the jump.

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Ed Mangano The Hero Nassau Needs

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Ed Mangano, Nassau County Executive, has come up with a cunning plan to keep the Islanders in Nassau. Despite the Islanders signing a 25 year lease to play at Barclay’s in Brooklyn, Mangano is ready to pull the rug out from under Barclay’s and keep the team in Nassau. Sure he won’t get a rail spur off the LIRR to the Coliseum. He won’t even build a new arena which the Islanders desperately need. Nope, he’s going to refurbish the same old Coliseum and get the Islanders to stick around.

During this press conference Ed Mangano made a few other promises to the people of Nassau. Since Moses once led his people through the desert with promises of a land of milk and honey, only for them to find more desert. Mangano promises to bring to the people of Nassau a land of milk and honey. He claims that they will turn parks into chocolate “Like that Chocolate Factory movie” and change all streams to honey.

Mangano claims there will also be no new taxes and the budget will be balanced.

While unable to get a Sonic to open in Nassau, Mangano has promised something bigger and better. The first in what is sure to be an unstoppable chain of fast food to cover the United States; Rap and Fries. It will be a fast food restaurant in the vein of McDonalds but themed around rap music. Go in and ask for the Snoop Dogg special, and make sure to Notorious B.I.G. size it!

Mangano claims there will also be no new taxes and the budget will be balanced.

Mangano also claims to be working on a new sanitation scheme. It’s currently called “Can’t Someone Else Do It?” and will involve Nassau sanitation workers working around the clock. Having trouble removing that last kleenex from the bottom of the trash? A Nassau sanitation worker can do it! Don’t want to empty the diaper can? Don’t worry, a Nassau sanitation worker can do it!

Mangano claims there will also be no new taxes and the budget will be balanced.

Finally, in a sign of how well Nassau is doing and in order to bring more millennial into Nassau, Mangano is prepared to pave all roads with gold. He feels as though his ancestors who immigrated to America were lied to, and that paving roads with gold will fix this wrong. Also since golden roads are required to interest immigrants, the incoming immigrants to Nassau county will help pay for the golden roads.

Mangano claims that there will be no new taxes and the budget will be balanced.

This wonderful trio of outstanding plans will surely put Nassau County on the map as the hippest coolest place for young millenials to spend the rest of their lives. Things are looking up for that plucky little Nassau County. Come see their new Spark, and I can’t see what could possibly go wrong with any of these plans.

Mangaon claims that there will be no new taxes and the budget will be balanced.

Micah Curtis of Techraptor Doesn’t Understand Marxism

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I had really stopped making Micah posts, because they had just become so dumb. Even though Micah FINALLY finished his “response to Zoe Quinn misquoting me” it was pretty much what I expected it to be. Micah was hardly misquoted, as he wasn’t quoted. The Zoe Quinn article used an image TechRaptor had used as a header to one of his articles to show how TR latched onto #GamerGate for views. You can read my response or his response or both.

Going to that article actually reminded me of something. That somehow Micah thought THIS was an appropriate header for anything, really, let alone for an article which was supposed to be about ethics.

Don’t worry though, Micah has a black sister so he can’t be racist. Clearly no racist has ever actually had a relative or friend of that race and still been a racist fuck. My friend Mike had a pretty good response to this:

 

Speaking of racism… The idea that the President of the United States might actually hate America is so absurd, I have no words for it. Now I might have hated George W Bush with a burning passion, but I never would have thought he hated America. Now Black People, he probably did hate. Sort of meandering here, but I wanted to point out that in his response to Zoe’s article, Micah claims not to be a part of #GamerGate. Sure he hates the same people, takes the same stances as them on just about everything, but he’s not a member of GamerGate. Just like your one cousin who votes straight Republican, agrees with everything Republicans do, but he’s a Libertarian anytime politics get brought up. Don’t blame him for what the GOP is screwing up. So let’s get to Micah and Marxism, because why not?  


For those not “in the know” Bob Chipman is MovieBob who used to be on the escapist. Just like most of the Youtube celebs (like Spoony, TGWTG, and others) his stuff is awful so I’ve never watched it. But it’s not surprising that someone might consider the Call of Duty games right wing. You shoot thousands of faceless, nameless adversaries who tend to be minorities in the USA.

Since I haven’t played CoD since the first two. I decided to take a look at who the enemy side was for the last 3 CoDs. CoD Ghosts involves an alternate timeline in which the Middle East takes a few nuclear bombs, so the enemies are South Americans who control oil production now. CoD Black Ops involved the USSR and related Soviet States (Hong Kong, Cuba, Laos, South Vietnam). Black Ops 2’s plot summary on Wikipedia actually confused me. But it seems like the big baddies is a South American drug lord. So make of that what you will.

 

Come on man, we gotta get organized. We “progressives” (Why is that even in quotes?) don’t know what we’re fighting for or how we’re fighting for it. I mean that sounds pretty damning. If Micah wasn’t completely out of touch with reality. Pretty sure most “progressives” are fighting for equality. You know, the whole “All men are created equal” thingamabob. It’s being done as a mass movement through protests (Occupy, Ferguson Protests, etc… etc…) and via online to spread the word.  


Not just any evil, but teh evil. America probably does need to be radically changed. We have a military industrial complex which is running wildly out of control. Just as an example, women make up over 51% of the country, but only 20% of the representatives in Congress are women.

Even worse is that minorities only make up 18% of representatives. The Supreme Court has 9 judges, of which 6 are old white guys. If you look at the current voting rights in the United States, most of the founding fathers would be outraged. The Constitution was originally written given voting rights to just those wealthy landowners. Black people were also 3/5ths of a person. But there’s no need for “radical changes”

 

Marxism, I do not think this word means what you think it means. Everything that’s liberal is Marxism to Micah. Hell to Micah anything he dislikes is Marxism. It’s almost as though he’s a relic from the cold war and everything is done by the Soviets. Also how does the United States “regress” to Marxism? Was there a period in time in which we were a Marxist state? I would have loved to live in those times. Look, people bash the Soviet Union, but it’s not like Russia since becoming a democracy has become a land of milk and honey. It would be amazing if a nation as rich in natural resources as the United States became Marxist. There would be no more poverty, no more struggling to survive. Social services would be fully paid for by the state. The state would simply take the mega fortunes acquired by the 1% and spread it around to everyone. Sigh, if only.  

I don’t know who any of these people are. Well I lie, I know Ben Kuchera is a video game journalist cause Micah screams about him enough. But who cares about the political views of a video game journalist? Ironically that could be used to make fun of me for mocking Micah. But Micah does more then just video games.

Does anyone else find it ironic that someone who for a while was a part of #GamerGate is calling progressives bullies? I mean GamerGate has spent the last how ever many months attacking Zoe Quinn, Brianna Wu and others. So hey, Micah’s being a hypocrite again, nothing new really.

So I was curious. Are any of the three people Micah named even old enough to have attended college in the 60s and 70s? Let’s just say someone spent the last 4 years in college from 78-82, graduating at 23. That would make them 54 today. While Kuchera MIGHT be that old, Plante is clearly in his mid 30s at most and Walker looks to be early 40s at worst. Clearly progressiveness is a poison which was born in the 60s and 70s. At no other time in history did people try to help their fellow man rise up. Clearly the Muckrakers who pointed out urban poverty, corrupt political machines and the general misery of being alive at the time were Marxists. They also hated America. Or you know, all those Unions that fought for many of the rights we have as workers today. They were clearly Marxists who hated America. The free market should decide whether or not young children are profitable workers. The free market should decide whether workers  should be shoved down mines in horrible conditions facing near death situations and no safety. Free Market should decide whether our meat is inspected or not.  

As much as I have followed and studied Soviet history, I have seen very few people with active praise for Stalin. Very few people would call Stalin a “revolutionary” as he largely worked his way up the ranks in the Bolsheviks by robbing money to support the party. There are people who still favor Stalin, for their reasons. But there are also people who still favor Mao, Mussolini, Hitler, and other horrible people. Because everyone is different.

The Che line is a joke, really. It comes from Che killing 300 supporters of the Batisita government after Fidel took over. In the time leading up to the Cuban Revolution, Batista killed thousands of real and supposed rebels. I actually wrote on it a long while ago. Crazy thing, Che actually went out as a youth and saw the effects of the United Fruit Company on the population and became a revolutionary for life. Empathy being something which is foreign to Micah. If he ever did see people like that, he’d just think they had to lift themselves up by their own bootstraps.

 

The irony of Micah calling anyone morally bankrupt is never lost on me. Let’s pick out some more gems while I’m here…

When has Micah ever said he’s sorry? He’s said and done outrageously stupid and offensive stuff (Dreamcast MLK for example) and just doubles down on it or claims “I’m being taken out of context” Whatever, nothing will ever stop him from being a hypocritical douchebag pretty much.

Okay, so I write for Lighthouse Hockey, which is an SBN blog. That’s probably the only reason your here. But Micah has been raging so hard against SBN/Vox since anytime he posted on CSS he largely got mocked. But I’m going to let a secret out of the bag here, as far as I know most of the blogs are independently run. That means that SBN doesn’t really vet any of the contributors besides the managing editor. SBN bigwigs probably have no idea I exist and give no shits about me.

Also another important point, (afaik) only the managing editor gets paid. They don’t pay contributors, so SBNation/Vox didn’t hire a murderer. Since trying to look up anything murder related and wrestling just gets a thousand Benoit articles, I have no idea who Micah is talking about. But in all reality SBN/Vox probably had nothing to do with this guy getting hired, he probably wasn’t hired and only worked as a volunteer. So good work breaking that story, Micah.

The more I dig, the more amazing stuff I find. Reminder that this tweet is from AFTER Micah wrote an article claiming that he’s not in GamerGate. But he takes the time to write an apology to GamerGate on 8Chan, an imageboard infamous for Child Pornography (Not the Gamergate board itself, but other ones that were on the site). So what did Micah say to upset people there?

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