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The Man, The Myth, The Legend: Brimstone

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I have previously talked about the wrestler known as Brimstone. He’s a non-entity in the wrestling world who has a penchant for self promotion. His now deleted wikipedia article was longer and had more citations then Triple H’s at one time. This despite Brimstone never really rising above low level indy shows in the NYC area. In fairness to him, he did show up on WWE shows back in the late 90s, but it was some MTV/WWE crossover thing and he wasn’t actually wrestling.

Well Brimstone has joined the SBN site CageSideSeats, and well… Let me just show you his profile page. (Not sure if this actually is Brimstone, or someone who was hired by him, or the greatest troll on CSS ever, but it is hilarious)

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I went to highlight the funniest parts of that, and I realized I was going to highlight everything. Why is it in third person? Do I want to know why he’s a children’s book hero? His “countless appearances worldwide” is actually quite easy to count. Two. That’s it. He was on a WWF on MTV program called “Wanna be a WWF Wrestler” which was also broadcast for an episode of WWF Superstars. He was Wrestler 37 and this is the extent of his appearances:

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And of course you shouldn’t be surprised to find out that he was on Sesame Street once. How do I know that? because it says as much on his IMDB profile. You also shouldn’t be surprised to find out his full IMDB profile is absolutely massive. I could spend years analyzing the insanity on display. Apparently Brimstone was well on his way to a career as a child star before his parents divorce. His band also has a cult following.

But let’s get back to some of Brimstone’s pearls of wisdom on CageSideSeats, like his very first comment:

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I would love to know what fans actually asked him to come back. How does he even have any fans? No one’s ever really heard of him. Also “Had to become semi-retirement” is a nice one. Who is he meeting for endorsements? How is Brimstone marketable when NO ONE HAS HEARD OF HIM? I also love that Brimstone considers himself in the same fraternity as Daniel Bryan. By that thinking, I’m in the same fraternity as the CEO of my company.

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One episode of Sesame Street. One. Episode. Of. Sesame. Street. That prepared him to be a pro wrestling heel unlike any other wrestling heel. Also I love how being a tweener or a heel is a feeling that can go home with you, and is a burden that pro wrestlers must accept. I’m literally ready to press post now, as there can’t be any possible way for Brimstone’s hyperbole to surpass this.

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Why We Need To Talk About Wealth Distribution

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A week or two ago Obama came out and mentioned the startling inequality of wealth in the country. This of course caused an immediate backlash from the right claiming that Socialist Obama was going to destroy this great nation. No one should be surprised by this response, as conservatives just automatically take any position opposing Obama. Even if he takes a position they once supported.

The idea though that just talking about the inequality of wealth distribution in the United States is tantamount to socialism is crazy. It’s just another boogeyman for them to scare people with, when ironically most people don’t realize how much socialism has helped them in this country. But that’s a topic I’ve been over before.

The reality of the situation is that Americans are working harder and producing more then ever before. Yet the monetary gains have gone to the richest, while wages have stagnated. A 2010 article from Mother Jones I’ve linked to before has a pretty good summary of the situation. Most Americans don’t even know how bad the distribution of wealth is, and most want a distribution which is even more favorable then what they think it is.

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The worst part of this is Wall Street. Companies have to continually make more money then last year/quarter/whatever. You make a billion dollars, and Wall Street is expecting 1.5 billion for the following year. Eventually it gets to the point that it’s easier to cut workers and save money then trying to sell more. You don’t get rewarded for making money AND keeping your employees happy and well paid. You get rewarded for profits, plain and simple.

So when McDonald’s Mighty Wings fail horrendously who ends up taking the fall? Not the multimillionaire executive (who probably has a huge golden parachute even if he is fired) but at the end of the day it’ll be the average worker getting fired. The average CEO makes 330 times what his average employee makes, and 774 times as much as a minimum wage worker makes.

Someone will probably read this and point out that executives have special training, that at the end of the day they are making decisions worth millions of dollars.  I’m not a genius, I don’t have a college degree, but your employees are some of your best customers. If they have more money to spend, it’s possible their spend it on your products. A rising tide lifts all, and for whatever it might cost immediately, paying lowest tier employees more is only going to help everyone in the end.

It’s even worse though, as companies like Wal-Mart pay employees so badly that most of them end up on government subsidies anyway. Unwilling to pay for medical insurance for it’s employees, companies like Wal-Mart and other large retailers max their full time workers out at 29 hours a week. They need the coverage, but they just hire more workers instead of hiring them for full time.

A lot of the time Wal-Mart and other stores open their mega stores after getting tax cuts and incentives from local governments. The promise being that the store will bring new jobs to the area. But in the end a lot of the small operations that can’t compete are put out of business, and people end up taking lower paying jobs with Wal-Mart at part time. Quickly those employees are suddenly in need of goverment assistance to afford to survive day to day, costing the community more in the long run.

The sad thing is that America is so ridiculously rich, there’s more then enough for everyone to live a healthy and happy life. The rich would still have plenty, and really wouldn’t have to give up that much. I mean really, when your making 330 times what your average employee is, are you really giving up that much if you go to 100 times what your average employee makes? How can you even spend that much money in your life? What are you blowing that much money on?

Just because we spent 40 years fighting communism during the cold war is no reason to pretend that all socialism is inherently evil. If we truly believe in Life, Liberty and Pursuit of happiness, shouldn’t everyone have a fair chance for all three? Just because someone is born into a position in which he won’t ever afford to go to college, or because they screwed up when they were 18 and got a felony, should they be forced to spend the rest of their lives working low wage jobs?

Yes there are people who will abuse the system. We can do the best we can to stop them. But at the end of the day, do you throw out the baby with the bathwater? Most people don’t want to be on food stamps or government assistance and are more then willing to work. Everyone I’ve known that was on it were good, hard working people trying to get through a tough time.

At the end of the day, we do need to have some serious discussions about the distribution of wealth in America. We need a press that is willing to investigate and break real stories, instead of keeping us updated on Kim Kardashian. Instead of arguing about Tom Brady and the square footage inflation of footballs we could be having serious discussion. But wealth means power in America today, and that power will be used to keep the masses distracted.

You can only push people so far, until they start pushing back. But it shouldn’t even get to that point, because there is plenty to go around for everyone. Greed is horrible.

Philly Firebirds Burn The Nighthawks

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A few months ago I happened to be looking up women sports in North America. From there I stumbled upon the IWFL (Independent Women’s Football League) and found out they had a team in the Philly area somewhat near me. This weekend I managed to get a day off and decided to take in their game against the Baltimore Nighthawks.

It ended up being a good choice, despite my early fears. When I showed up, the Nighthawks look liked a well oiled machine running plays in one endzone in full gear. The Firebirds were relaxed running through drills and plays without shoulder pads and helmets until the absolute last second. When it was time to get ready, their coach even complained that it shouldn’t take them  as long as it did to get ready.

The Nighthawks also looked to have a size and numbers advantage. An early quick head count showed that the Nighthawks had about double the players on their bench. I was worried about what I had gotten myself into. Especially since it’s rare I get a Saturday off with the business I’m in.

My worries quickly evaporated as the Firebirds defense was absolutely smothering. Since there’s no roster on the website, and I didn’t have anything to take notes, I missed some names. But 25 and most of the Firebirds linebackers were relentless on defense. Early on a hold on 25 was missed by the refs. 25 was clearly fired up and the very next play came flying into the Nighthawks backfield for a big sack. She also had a big interception late in the 2nd quarter when the Nighthawks were driving, running the ball back for a TD.

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Let’s Play Sims 3: Moose and Squirrel

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It took a bit of fixing, but the Sims 3 LP is back. Had to change everything over to a new computer and get it working again. So on with the action.

So while Shendu decided to talk to the wall, Rhaz went to wash his hands. He somehow broke the sink while doing this.

Then Rhaz uses the bathroom, and somehow breaks that too? Good work. Thankfully Shendu isn’t noticing the house is flooding because he’s busy in a discussion with the wall.

Everyone comes home, so Shendu decides to fuck with Monocle. Because Shendu. Rhaz has taken the time to start reading a book.

Rhaz puts on the charm before leaving for the night.

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Who Buys This Junk? Pennco Tech

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This is one of those times I wished I had a dvr running 24/7. The amazing mess that was this commercial on my TV is barely describable. First off, the commercial was bigger then my screen. This cut off the first few letters and last few letters of the website. Secondly the volume was so loud, that despite being only 30 seconds long it immediately caught my attention. Thirdly, the acting. Oh god the acting. It’s just, wow. There’s people from America’s Funniest Home Videos with better delivery.

Look, before I get to that, let me talk about the scam. The idea behind this and other trade schools is to get people into the school by any means necessary and milk them for money. Most people who actually go to one of these schools find themselves deep in student loan debt, and since the school is considered a joke they can’t get a job to pay it off. But the school doesn’t care since they got their money. Just as an example, one complaint I found about this school is that they convince you to put down a deposit to hold a seat. But they tend not to tell you you have 3 days to refund your deposit. Which is barely enough time to look into student loan information.

But your most likely here to watch what I consider the Ed Woods of TV Commercials. This is the most magical 30 seconds you can spend your day. Enough hype, video after the jump.

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