Pulled this out of my archives, might do some more of these from time to time.
Unknown War 2005
August 28th Weekend
Gotta love War. Unfortunately I had the bad luck to get somewhat injured during the first battle. I don’t really remember if I had fought Lost Boy Adam before. But he is insane. He fought off me and someone else, while one of us was in front of him and one of us were behind him. Of course I had managed to run backwards full steam into the steps on the side of the castle. Follow that with getting nailed in the elbow with a full speed long sword swing. The oddly shaped bruise (maybe due to pads?) is blood red right now. Oh well. The war was a ton of fun though. I think I did the eliminate the whole opposing side with deaths from behind about four times. There really is no easier way to get the other sides army wanting to kill you really badly.
As the group we did pretty good too. Some of the guys were on fire with their spears. I had a tendency to keep whichever was with me from getting killed, or to be a human guinea pig, get killed and open up the other sides spear man. Rob finally figured out that trying to fight off 5 people at once is a bad idea if its a res battle. Unfortunately by the end of the day Gerade was out of action with a slight injuries.
I also got paid one of the biggest compliments ever after the war. Angus said to me that I’m one of the fastest pole arms out there, and that I’ve definitely improved. I said I gotta be that fast because I seem to end up fighting Muscles a lot on the flank. It was definitely sweet.
Afterwards, Gerade and I went out to the good pizzeria in the area. Yes, it is scary that Gerade knows which pizzerias suck in the area. Where I proceeded to be master of the awkward comment from left field. Some of my favorites were:
“You know what? Yahoo has too many guys wishing they were Japanese schoolgirls with dicks”
*really stupid looking hick enters the pizza place* “at least I’m no longer the dumbest person here”
*whigga enters the pizzeria, looking really, really whigged out. Including black headband* “at least I’m not the oddest dressed person here” (I was in my medieval stuff)
*I look at the board of local business cards and see a card for “Ray’s Crab Shack” and I follow up with this line, very loudly* “What the hell am I doing here when I can be at Ray’s Crab Shack!”
Trust me, there were more, a lot more. But unfortunately I can’t remember half of the crazy stuff I said. I also remember saying that by some point I had probably pissed off the cooks (I talk loud, very loud) that my Stromboli was going to have hair, piss and dirt in it. There was also a very unfortunate mother and young daughter attempting to eat dinner directly behind me. Sometimes people just come into the line of fire.
At one point or another Gerade was either offended by something I said or laughing so hard he was crying. On the ride home I was torturing Gerade, and when I finally stopped for five minutes I killed the silence with this line “I wonder why no one ever calls me to hang out with them?” which was followed with more laughter