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By Mark D, November 26, 2011 9:42 pm

(Sorry about the lack of posts after saying I was back. My laptop cord broke so I wasn’t able to post anything. I should be back now.)

So for my Senior year I was forced to take two electives, and both the electives I wanted rejected me. I amazingly wasn’t allowed into AP Political Sciences due to falling asleep and being bored with the teacher when I had him for AP US History the year before. I also wanted into Drama, but the one young hot female teacher in the school was teaching it and suddenly the whole football team had an interest in drama.

So in the end I took Criminology (I liked watching cops) and Art (it was easy). Art was a part of my block of classes, meaning I had the same 4 classes with the same 20 or so kids. It was also at the end of the day, after our free period. Yes, in a genius move of schedule making they gave us the next to last period of the day free. Since the teacher was cool, he started excusing people who wanted to skip the class. So after the first month there were 7 of us left in the class. One day he even asked the last of us why we kept coming back, and it was cause 5 of us had detention every day.

So in a story I’ll get to another day or got to before, I can’t remember, I ended up transferring to a new school. In my stupidity I didn’t realize that they didn’t have a rule about being forced to take two electives, so I could have dropped both those classes. Instead I got to go to the Art class with a teacher who was known as Special K. They also had multiple English classes, so I got to take drama. Since they didn’t have criminology the woman doing my transfer decided that sociology sounded the same and was close enough. She seriously said this with me right there.

The two important classes are sociology and drama. It ended up they were both taught by the same teacher, the Doc. The Doc was a complete throwback to the 50s and had never really evolved with the times. After insulting us multiple times about how we weren’t ready for college and how great college was and we didn’t deserve it, I flustered him by asking him why he wasn’t teaching in College. It ends up he was so conservative that no college would take him back anymore. He was also obsessed with Cowboys, to the point that his lesson plan consisted of comparing everything to cowboys.

That was a treat, compared to his drama class. It was the most boring, dull, lecturing class on drama I ever had. He started writing so many ridiculous notes that he would full two boards (our class was designed to face either board) and sometimes go back to the first and start writing more. I remember none of what he wrote, and thankfully about halfway through the year I realized how pointless it was to write all these notes and stopped. I wouldn’t call it so much a class as just plan out torture.

We also butted heads multiple times during the year, especially in sociology. Oh and I should mention that I had him for back to back classes in first and second period. I was ready to stab my eardrums after sitting through his classes. They only seemed to make the day go on longer. So at the end of the year, I finally had enough. On the next to last day of school I started arguing with him during the first five minutes of class and got tossed out. I did the same thing in second period and got tossed.

So this was great because he was obviously deluded if he thought I was going to stay after school for detention. Speaking of which the following morning the dean checked with me and mentioned I had missed detention. She also asked if I was going to go to the detention I had that afternoon. Sure, I was going to show up to detention on the final day of school! What was she smoking? So I went through my plan of getting thrown out of both his classes again. During sociology I said “Yippie Kay Yay, Mother Fucker” as I left and got a huge laugh out of the class.

Unfortunately I ran into the principal who was not only curious what I was doing out of class, but why he had a 3 page letter from my art teacher. I should also mention that he was bald and his head had this bulging vein which was at an all time high chance of exploding. You see that’s a story for another day. High School was fun.

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By Mark D, May 14, 2011 12:56 am

So I was reading this news story and I was shocked. 11 kids are suspended from sports teams for underage drinking and illegal smoking which was of course done off campus. Someone downloaded the pictures from Facebook and sent it to the school, this is actually the second time it’s happened, the first time the school couldn’t verify the dates of the photos and let them slide since it was also summer and school hadn’t started.

Look, let’s make it simple. If your in High School, don’t let idiots take pictures at a party at which you are drinking and smoking. If some moron does, take their camera or cell phone and toss it into a cup of water. Even moreso, don’t have a public facebook and if assholes tag you drinking while underage, detag it and punch the idiot. It’s a relatively simple idea, don’t be an asshole and post pictures of your friends doing illegal things on facebook. First off, I’d say if your in school don’t have a facebook. If that’s impossible, don’t use your real name, don’t sign up to your schools facebook, and keep everything you can set as private and friends only.

People just don’t seem to realize that 99% of the time if you put something on the internet, ANYONE can find it. But most importantly, don’t take pictures or videos when your doing something ILLEGAL. You don’t see people taking pictures of themselves robbing banks or shoplifting.  Crop out the bad stuff at the very least. It’s not hard to remove a cup or a cigarette from someone’s hand. Let’s not be lazy.

The funny thing is that this is true for adults too. I keep saying it, but if you apply for places, or even the place you work can always google your name and check your facebook if it’s not private. Both my facebook and my myspace don’t have  my real name on them. But hey, what can I say, everyone wants to be a star today and one of those ways is being popular on facebook. It would be nice though if for five seconds people could stop being dumb. The greatest rule of thumb ever, once it is on the internet EVERYONE can see it. If your mom can use the internet, she’ll see it too. Same with your grandmom, your aunt, your dad, your uncle. The list can go on. If someone wants to get revenge on you and they have the ability to google your name, they will find something. Unless you take precautions first.

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By Mark D, April 22, 2011 12:43 am

A lot of people wonder why I’m so paranoid sometimes and why I think people are out to get me constantly. I blame it on school. I seemed to always be the person the teacher wanted to make an example out of. I always half assed classes but still passed. I normally slept through classes too, but when the teacher woke me up I gave them hell. So some of it was probably deserved. But still, it seemed like the teachers pets could cause all the trouble they wanted.

The worst was my grade school/middle school. A bunch of us transferred from public school to catholic school after 3rd grade because the catholic school had this mentally unhinged nun teaching 3rd grade. The sister teaching 4th grade immediately hated us all, and was upset she had to teach us stuff that the other kids already knew. She took it upon herself to try and get all the PS kids to leave the school, and by the end of the year it was only me and one other kid left. Amazingly though the school was having trouble with funding and could use every kid in a seat that it could get. This sister hated me through the rest of my time there and would turn her back to me getting beat on. But god be damned if I got away with anything.

Even when I did stuff right, like coming in first place at the county wide history fair, people were told not to clap for me because it would only encourage me and my friend. That was coming from the Principal of all people too. My ability to annoy anyone in authority seemed to extend to High School too. I got to know the Deans well and rather quickly. In fairness the thing that bugged me the most was that they were all former cops and treated us like criminals. My greatest day was when they threatened to kick me out my senior year. I went home and said I want to go to a different school. They spent two hours begging my mom to keep me there (they also couldn’t hold my tuition because my brother was going there so it transferred to him).

Even funnier was the final high school I graduated from. The Principal actually threatened to throw me out of the school on my final day as a Senior because one of my teachers had written him a 4 page letter complaining about me. I think someone with common sense got to him and told him to just let it go. Ironically when I went to get my diploma from him (after we had been padded down while entering the graduation ceremony) he said that my yearbook entry was great and made him smile. This so confused me it kept me from cursing him out.

Time and time again going to school it always seemed like everyone was out to get me. It helped to make me the insane paranoid bastard that I am today. Isn’t that wonderful from schools of learning?