Comments (3)

By Mark D, June 6, 2011 3:11 am

Look online for any information about the Resident Evil movies and you’ll find a thousand nerds bitching about how bad they are and why do they keep making them. Or they bitch that the director/producer is just making them to give a starring role to Milla Jovolich. Listen, I’ll admit straight up that I have always been a huge fan of Milla Jovolich, so that is probably part of the reason I like the Resident Evil Movies. But even so, the fact that they keep making tons of money on a relatively (last one was made for 60 million, most of the rest were 40M or under) small budget is the reason why they keep getting made.

Quite simply, people are going to see them. Most of the people who are complaining don’t seem to realize why the movie has so little to do with the games. At the time Resident Evil Movies started most of the Video Game movies had been busts. Since for the most part at the time you were talking about 8 bit and 16 bit games, it was rather tough to transfer some of these games stories to the big screen you ended up with stuff like the Super Mario Bros. Movie and the Street Fighter Movie. A lot of the characters, but a modified plot. Of course it’s been almost 10 years since the first movie and things have changed a bit.

Here’s the other part of that. The stories to Resident Evil are AWFUL. Run around, find keys, solve stupid puzzles and OCCASIONALLY find a few zombies to fight. I tried the original Resident Evil a bunch of times and never had any fun. I found it even dumber that you needed keys, considering you had a gun on you and the keys were FOR WOODEN DOORS! All the Resident Evil plots suck. No one in their right mind is going to make a direct conversion of the Resident Evil games to movies. If your a fan of Resident Evil you should know how much the plots suck.

In the end though, the Resident Evil movies aren’t even for the nerds bitching about them on the internet. We’ve already seen how weak the internet is when it comes to movies. Remember how the Internet was going to make “Snakes on a Plane” a huge movie? Yea, that didn’t really work out. Why? Cause the internet doesn’t watch movies. Just look at the box office totals for Scott Pilgrim.

So it’s time to stop bitching, and just enjoy the Resident Evil movies for what they are. Popcorn action flicks with no real point or ending. A flimsy plot and somewhere along the line an excuse for Milla Jovolich to be half naked. That’s plenty to make me happy with the Resident Evil series. Hell, I hated the 2nd movie in the series but I keep watching them. So if your a fan of Resident Evil and pissed that they keep making movies, just keep going on youtube and putting up annoying rants. People will take you seriously and stop watching the movie, it will stop making money and no more Resident Evil movies. Problem Solved!

Comments (3)

By Mark D, October 19, 2010 3:57 am

I don’t review movies that often, mostly because I hate theaters. The last movie I saw was Avatar, mostly because of that whole BS campaign of “This is too good not to see in theaters”. Avatar was a good movie, but the way people were going on about it was a bit much. The 3D was not only overrated (wow, the shrubs are coming off the screen and distracting me from flat dialogue) but started the trend of making everything 3D so movie companies could charge more.

When it comes to Resident Evil, I saw the first one in theaters and the next two at home. I never played the game or enjoyed Resident Evil when I did play it. I just happen to be a huge fan of Milla Jovolich (I think Ultraviolet is a greatly underrated movie)  throw in Michelle Rodriguez and Zombies and I’m all for it. Unfortunately the RE movies have tended to have the same basic arc for the movie, a ton of action in the beginning and end, while the middle part of the movie  is boring. Oh and another basic plot device they use is someone gets bit, hides it from the group and converts into a zombie at the worst possible moment.

Now of course one of the reasons I wanted to see this was (for anyone who saw the end of 3) the army of Alice clones. Unfortunately they are destroyed in the first 15 minutes. For that matter anyone that was upset with Alice being an insane super human she (supposedly) returns to a normal human in that same time. She goes searching for the rest of the convoy and ends up finding nothing. She does run into Claire who is brainwashed and once she’s cured she can’t remember anything.

Alice flies around a bit more and spots a prison with “Help Us” written on top of it. She ends up crash landing on the prison. It ends up that the Prison has easily been holding off a huge horde of zombies since the beginning. Now it appears that nothing will be going on for the next 45 minutes of the movie. Instead, the Zombies have taken to the sewers and are now digging (Digging? Since when the fuck do zombies dig?) their way into the prison. So now we have random zombie attacks from pits that go into the Sewers.

Not only that, but within a few minutes of the zombies digging their way up into the prison, this huge guy shows up…

Resident Evil Big Guy

You know that Gate that’s been holding off this endless horde for a few years? Not so much anymore. About 3 whacks with his hammer and the gate comes crashing down and we get back to the action. Not only that, but we don’t get the whole “Wounded by a zombie and hides it” subplot that’s not only been in every RE but just about every Zombie movie ever.

I don’t want to ruin the ending, so I won’t. Suffice to say it appears that director Paul WS Anderson (just to note, he only directed the first and now this RE movie) finally got The Matrix from Netflix. The final battle comes off as one of those myriad of Matrix like movies which followed the Matrix. I actually just realized that The Matrix is now over 10 years old. It was well done, but I just found it a bit disappointing.

Onto the 3D. Now it might be due to the fact that I only paid 11 bucks (compared to 15 I normally do) to see RE in 3D that I’m being gentler on it. But I really did enjoy the 3D in RE:3D. Sometimes it was subtle and didn’t jump off the screen, but it was always the main characters in 3D instead of background shrubbery. I think 3D works much better in pure action movies, sometimes stuff came flying at me which did make me jump. I also believe that RE:3D was originally filmed in 3D and was not a regular movie converted afterward.

I think in general you know if your going to see a zombie movie or not. I actually saw this with someone who hadn’t seen the rest of the series and they were fine. It’s a dumb, loud, action movie. If you were expecting anything more out of a Resident Evil then you’ll be disappointed. But if your like me and enjoy some Milla Jovolich fighting zombies who have figured out how to dig, then you’ll enjoy yourself.